#At least I can watch everything at once
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Why didn't anybody tell me to watch Sweet Tooth earlier??? I'm on holiday for two weeks and just thought, oh well I can take a look now. Cause 45 minute episodes take a bit of mental investment tbh but I'm absolutely struck.
Cause this is amazing! Green apocalypse. Angsty sleep deprived scientist. Angsty hybrid kids. Angsty found familys left and right.
This is fucking amazing.
(anyway, no spoilers please.)
#sweet tooth#gus sweet tooth#aditya singh#tommy jepperd#At least I can watch everything at once#And don't have to wait for s3 I guess#I also believe in Johnny#My man johnny got redemption arc potential#He let the horse free after all#But nobody tell me anything#Johnny I have faith in you#Don't dissapoint me Johnny
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The worldview on this show is exactly like if the world was this house and it’s got all the furniture and mirrors and floors etc covered in this dirty drop cloth everywhere you look convincing everyone in it it’s a haunted dead place but then someone will ignore the drop cloth and sit on a piece of furniture anyways without quite thinking and it is actually there and good and works normal and actually it’s a fundamental backbone of a beautiful warm loving living home but no one realizes cause they won’t spend enough time looking at it
#that’s exactly what it’s like#it’s like we’re going back to what started the world which is Evil muhahaha and it’s so full of despair and sickness and sin#until the worldview’s just crowded with that as the reality#and then Xander will come along and yell I’m a carpenter and you can kill me but I’ll still love you#and Spike will sag across a cross that burns him talking about a love that burns him because he wants to be good and there’s a rest to it#and then we’ll cover the furniture back up and move on#but at least you know it’s there#i do think it’s pretty accurate though to how it feels in your teens and twenties tho#at least when you’re troubled#it’s like the world is scarier now than the grown ups understand I’m fighting demons they ignore it don’t know exist but they Should Know#and that feels like all it is all that’s there because I’m so small and they’re so much#but that’s the thing really. it’s an illusion#it’s just covered up furniture#if you uncover it there’s a whole house made of love under there#but the thing is the drop cloths are real too. and you got to be willing to see how dead the place is how buried it is#before you can hope for resurrection enough to take the drop cloths off#but you won’t do that either if you think that’s all that’s there#everybody in this show things the drop cloth is part and parcel to the furniture#that that’s just how the furniture and the house IS#so they live in it that way#until every once in a while someone says this sucks what if I see if this can come off. can I reupholster this? or why are you guys#hanging around your house with drop cloths on everything? you’re making stuff dirty!#it’s Giles showing up and saying actually Buffy being an adult means asking for help#it’s Spike saying I’m Evil and I have to do something about that#it’s Buffy helping the kids!!!!#magpie watches btvs
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asking for help always makes things worse
#I need to just accept that I’m never going to be given any understanding or actual help#I may never escape these worlds it seems it doesn’t matter how hard I try I can’t get anyone to listen to me#this feels traumatizing I feel entirely beaten and ground down into something small and helpless#I have no control at all I keep trying and trying and trying and trying and for what#I need somebody to just listen to me atp not being dismissed is better than nothing but everyone’s a curation anyway no real thoughts or#feelings but it doesn’t matter I don’t even care please just listen to me somebody listen to me I’m so confused do curations have some#autonomy I don’t think so maybe I don’t fucking know they said yes on the clock so perhaps yes so please just listen please pls pls pls pls#I can’t be traumatized I’m not human right but I’m having everything stripped from me every last ounce of control the shadow ppl have all#the control which is funny I’m fairly certain I’m one of them but they still can strip me of control I was bred for this#please somebody help me I keep begging like it’ll do anything can you at least help with the ppl and cameras in the vents#are ppl from the real world watching through them I believe so can anything be done something has to be done escape the impostors something#just something please just listening would help actual listening not dismissal you can think whatever you want about me but listen#maybe some have autonomy and some don’t ?#please understand that I’ve tried very hard I’ve tried very very hard suicidality and homicidality have dug their claws into me even further#I don’t know what else to do I’m at a loss and no one will listen to me at all I’ve tried asking offline I’ve tried asking online it doesn’t#matter what I do where I ask no one will listen even the ones who do somewhat say they don’t know what to do I’m suspicious do they really#not know what to do or are they lying that may be more an impostor thing but everyone and everything is suspicious to me uh uh uh just#listen and help please idk what to do it’s all in the mirrors and clocks and such but I need to find a way to enter the mirrors but I’m#scared what I’ll find who is looking back I’m scared what world I’ll end up in it may be their world I’ll be punished they said yes I’m#terrified can someone go in with me if I manage to find out how that’s pathetic but damn I don’t think I can anyway they’ve been crawling on#the ceilings today hahah doing some weird and wacky shit sometimes they’re a little funky and just there and other times I’m having a heart#attack no in between I know pleading with curations is likely going to be classified as annoying but for the love of god do you know what#else I am supposed to do ??? at the very least just listen to me please it is 02:14:46 how synchronous ! I can’t stop having what I think#are dreams about the mental hospital too haha they send me to dreamworlds sometimes trap me in them waking dreamworlds see I’ve been reduced#down into something tiny I’ve resorted to begging once again do I even want to beg am I lying to myself my words aren’t my own my thoughts#aren’t my own so is this not my own can’t ever speak none of it’s my own it feels unsafe especially to speak of anything that isn’t this#it isn’t safe it isn’t my own it’s not the focus idk idk idk should I ask to talk to someone again I wonder I want understanding for my#situation please listen to me the joints hurt aaaa#my life is a playyy is a playyy is a playyyyyy anyone like marina that song appeared in the head I wonder where that spider went it better#not be inside of the body ok ok ok anyone yes help wanted help needed 02:22:22
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sorry im just thinking about bcs but like. why not add a few smaller scenes of gus interacting with his own men? why does it seem like, in comparison, mike is almost immediately elevated to a higher status than those two in bcs purely because we actually get to see him having normal conversations with gus? like i understand they might not keep the plot moving as well because of the fact obviously if victor is currently doing something it’s because gus told him to etc. but for the most part all of the smaller interactions gus does have with those two ends up being in a somewhat high stress situation where it feels very tense between everyone. and it’s just like damn! is it always like that?? why do those two even care that much about their jobs if their boss is a bit of a dick? etc. i think even an additional scene or two with those guys (either alone or the both of them) talking with gus in a more normal situation could’ve both added a bit more depth into how gus treats his employees (we got a lot with how he treats lyle and co., but not a whole lot with the illegal side of things), how comfortable vic and tyrus feel around him in a calmer setting, and exactly why they both feel the need to be as loyal as they are to the guy.
and also on the other side of this i don't think it'd hurt to maybe elaborate on their pay just a bit..? i'm not saying to randomly put a number out into the atmosphere but i just mean some smaller things like. do they buy nicer things for themselves? what's their housing situation? what's their car situation? are the escalade / yukon their own vehicles or does gus just use those two for business situations? do they use them when they're doing their own stuff off the clock or do they have their own cars? etc. that can also help with understanding their motivations a bit. don't get me wrong i don't think they should be visibly rich or something because that's not what gus would want but just smaller things! cause it's easy to write their loyalty off as Well they probably get paid super well, which i'm sure is true, but if they don't show a single hint of that then what's the point. even something as simple as giving tyrus a nice watch, or maybe victor having a nicer looking gun, etc. something small like that. because as it stands right now the average 41 year old viewer who watched the show once only knows and will only ever know victor and tyrus as those two guys in the background who do random stuff for gus with no clear motivation. just the personification of "On it boss (salute emoji)". and to be honest this is true for a whole lot of fans who do watch the show multiple times and enjoy thinking about it more in depth, because on screen we barely have anything about the two.
and to be clear i'm not trying to say we should have an episode just for them or something like no i understand they're side characters. i understand we don't need all that. and i understand this is also primarily Jimmy's show. but it's not like these two are on the same level as like, arlo or paige and kevin etc. these guys have been around since brba. victor was literally introduced in the same episode gus was. and they are a huge part of gus's story, especially in brba. s4 wouldn't have been what it was without victor and tyrus. and in bcs, ignacio's situation wouldn't have been the same if it weren't for victor and tyrus as well. and i just personally believe that if their goal with gus in bcs was to go back and elaborate on how everything came to be and show what he was like a few years younger, they could've dragged victor and tyrus into that. and i think his character would've benefited from taking that extra step with those two.
#gray.txt#and you know. obviously i personally have my own clear ideas of everything. and i'm content with what i got. this isn't coming from a place#of Well victor is my favorite guy so everything should be about him LOL. i know what he is.#but thats only because i spent like what? 2 years now watching random interviews and analyzing the smallest details within the show that#genuinely meant nothing while they were writing the scripts. and then throwing some random ideas at the wall to see if they stick.#and i just dont think everybody should have to do that LOL. and i think gus's character gets a lot more interesting#when do you do have this clear idea of victor and tyrus in your head and how he interacts with them. but 99% of people dont have that!#nobody fucking knows everything giancarlo and vince ever said about box cutter. nobody knows about the interview where giancarlo referred t#his entire business (meth and restaurant) as his 'family'. and they'd never think of that in those terms#because with the exception of his restaurant workers and mike#it feels like he HATES them LMAO.#tldr all i'm saying is i think we could've benefited from at least one 1 minute long scene of victor and gus exchanging words#where it doesn't end in gus snapping the phone in half out of anger. and also let tyrus speak his mind and have gus agree with him once#also yeah sorry this is all over the place but it is somehow the most coherent i have felt in months so this is as good as its getting sorr#sorry .#also to be clear about my earlier statement that’s a lie my idea of those two is not clear in my head whatsoever i just meant in comparison#to literally the average viewer. and my own personal thoughts about them aren’t even true it’s just opinions and guesses.#and i love a character that i can just say shit about but at the same time i think it’s fun to have idk something in the source material#that you can actually use while thinking and not have to dig around 11 year old reddit AMAs#and that money paragraph sort of came out of order what i meant by saying all that is like#i feel those two could benefit from a clear motivation for why they do all the things they do#and if we have neither personal reasons nor monetary reasons then it just makes them feel like one dimensional henchmen or something#came out of no where* not order you dumb fuck (< me)#also it doesn’t have to be clear in our faces or anything whatever you know what i’m saying . this is too long i can’t keep elaborating
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is there any magical girl anime still out there that doesn't have any fanservice? Shows like Precure, Cardcaptor Sakura or Madoka?
And if there isn't, are there at least any shows where the fanservice isn't with elementary school girls?
#watching prisma illya for the first time because im getting back into fate in general and#??????????????????????#i watch and love symphogear! same for nanoha! i have a not insignificant tolerance of fanservice#but there is a limit to how much of it i can take especially in pg13 and prisma illya keeps breaking past it! at least once per episode!#which is a shame because i enjoy the story and music and animation!! the more 'mundane' setting!! but then EVERYTHING ELSE is fanservice#character wakes up: fantasizes over kissing brother#character gets up after getting hit in a battle: gotta make sure the butt is detailed and in frame#downtime scene: detailed animation of characters 'innocently' sharing ice cream with the 'appropiate' sound and expression#attempt at humor: hey guys. innuendos am i right. elementary school kids talk like this.#(other attempt at humor is the rin luvia rivalry which i am indifferent to even in main fate setting)#more of illya channeling archer and curbstomping saber alter and less of [vague gesture at s2e2] chloe wtf also whoever wrote that scene wt#tbf s2e2 chloe has been the worst offender by far up to this point which in the middle of all of the rest is kind of impressive in a bad wa#sorry about the vent i just needed to get that out of my system#also the question in the post is meant seriously. if anyone knows any i am absolutely open to recommendations.#when a jo speaks
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you know what would be fun enrichment for thirteen. putting her in a time loop starting the moment she lands on gallifrey with the master.
#he’s like im going to tell you the tr- and she goes. i know. i know everything.#but see the thing is that her just saying that doesn’t change anything.#he still cybers the dead. she still leaves him to die.#she has to do it again. and again. and again.#there’s just whole times she spends staying in the matrix until time runs out instead of breaking it. trying to find more.#or there’s times she doesn’t even let him get started. where she beats him to the ground because she’s seen him do this so many times and#she’s fucking ANGRY. she’s angry. i think she kills him. at least once. whether or not she meant to is another question.#she gives in and clicks the button maybe and kills them both. it changes nothing. she’s back at the beginning.#she can’t leave unless he leaves with her. and he wants to die rather than do that. so she’s just going to have to keep trying.#get exhausted. get up. keep trying. save her friends. watch them die. blow up the cybermen. leave them alone. kill the master. set him loos#it doesn’t end unless it ends with them together. maybe one day she’ll find out what to say.#how many times can you watch your friend self-destruct. how many times will you have to.#fun enrichment activities for thirteen!!!!!!#it doesn’t fix things. btw. if she gets him alive off the planet. it just means she leaves the time loop.#maybe that has to be enough.#thirteenth doctor
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do you ever feel casually suicidal? like you're not depressed or anything you're doing fine but also it feels like a convenient option
#if you can't make connections with people or be seen by anyone then like. at least you can feel like you're helping a better cause#to like charities and gfms and anyone else#but you have to tone that down bc you're slowly losing money bc you still can't get a job#and bc you don't have a job it means you're just stuck in the house all day. which gives Way Too Much opportunity to Think about everything#and also so like. i still share a room with my sister but it was fine bc she'd stay at her bf's a few nights a week#but he's got a job that's a bit further away and basically she can't go round his as much. so now it's maybe like once a week#the room is getting messier so it gives me less energy to do anything#you can get really into an unhealthy weight loss obsession bc at least it feels like you're getting towards something#but idek is set weight theory real? bc once i get down to a certain point it suddenly resets#like honestly counting calories and donating money to every gfm i saw and writing a film script was what kept me going#but first one isn't working and second i need some sort of income and third is finished and i have no way of actually creating it#and then there's the whole lack of stable hyperfixation and ability to find new music i enjoy#and realistically what would fix me is having a good job that i enjoy and somewhere to live on my own#but until i get a job that's currently impossible. and even then it probably won't feel like enough#my entire life is lived on my phone i need more physical objects but i don't have enough space#bc i share a room with my sister. it's like all my problems are connected#and i have enough optimism that i still think it'll get better in the next few weeks. maybe i'll be able to get a job and that'll#get everything going again#but at the same time i could easily just die#I've graduated from uni. I've seen the who live 3 times. I've crashed my car twice. I've watched 30 years of corrie. I've met various dogs#what else is there to do with my life honestly#(<- joking)#but yeah like. in summer 2021 i almost got suicidal (it was just letting the occasional thought linger in my mind etc)#but that was bc i was so depressed#but now it feels like i could just kill myself. but more just out of convenience#idek. i'm not gonna kill myself. bc i have a job interview on tuesday. and just in general i won't#but there is this casual feeling of like. well i might as well. i can't describe it#ramble#suicide tw#weight loss mention
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my comic is live right now!
kyle and rex is an absurdist drama set in a stagnant afterlife where everyone lies, cheats, manipulates, and hurts each other in order to gain political power and admiration from the public.
with characters constantly haunted by ghosts of the past, trying to stay on top of the food chain despite constant betrayals and having their secrets held up above their heads, comes back kyle, from his long stay back as a guiding spirit on earth, to take back reigns of the throne in the inbetween. though much like everyone else, hes got a long list of dirty laundry that many are aching to reveal. there are no real friends here.
⸻
updates every 2 weeks, at 6:30 pm central US time! (SP & ENG)
WEBTOON: english link + spanish link
TAPAS: english link + spanish link
FANEO: spanish link
#HI. GUYS. PUKES EVERYWHERE#im SO FUCKING NERVOUS#oh but first of all the link on top is a link to the promotional animation that goes along with the airing of my comic :) so if you want to#watch that you can. smile#anyways im just. really beyond excited and also terrified to start. cus you know#once i upload this theres no going back and im going to be constantly then publishing project after project thereafter and thats pretty muc#what ive been wanting to do all my life#so im just like this is the start of it this is going to set everything into motion!!!#im not expecting to get a ton of followers or readers or anyhting this soon specially since i think it starts to get GOOOOOD#after you learn some context but this is my first first original launch and im really excited!!!!!#i usually dont do this because i dont find it very important to me not as much as telling a really good story at least but obviously i have#tons of trans and lgbt just entire rainbow up in there and the majority of the characters#are not white they are from different cultures AND times#so if youre looking to read brown and queer stories by authors of the same there is that#anyone is fully welcomed to send any asks with questions or anything whatsoever!!!#i know its sort of a long post but as a notice i will be reblogging this every time i finish an entire new chapter#to keep people aware!!! c: i know it may be a bit annoying but i just want to get the word out !!#if youre bilingual i think it would be fun to see the differences between the translations i put i translated it myself since spanish is my#first language and well i think is funney :3#smile!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#kyle and rex#my comic#webtoon#tapas#faneo#what do people tag these things wif.....#my art#technically!#i supourse ill have to rb it to my art blogs too yipee!!!
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ugh i can’t wait to finish p4g and play arena. KEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE GROWS UP!!!! SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!! i need to see him
#rambles#ken is like a baby cousin to me#i’m not all that good at fighting games but i can probably handle an arcade mode here and there#put me in a battle against a real person who’s played it more than once and i will lose though#it’s probably worth it to play it myself instead of watching a playthrough#oh damn it’s on sale rn -60%#oh everything atlus is on sale rn#on steam at least#that’s kinda dope
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awesome well now that i have been blessed with this power im going to make the poll ive wanted to make for ages because this is something that im really truly curious about.
hello my dear followers, if you see this PLEASE vote and let me know:
#banebabbles#bane polls#guess this can be a tag now???#obvs yall dont have to reblog this but ill probably be bumping it at least like once a day LOL#thanks and also sorry in advance ;ljksf i i just uh really genuinely am curious about this#ive wanted polls so i could more easily find this out for years#also i TRIED to stick with stuff where it's like. i was actively involved in the 'fandom' or made stuff for it#YOI was almost on here bc i wrote posts while watching live for example#but id say everything else up here was way more prominent or more likely to have drawn folks to my blog#okay ill stop talking now tho. sowwy. pls vote tho <3
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#i think once i get my bank account in my name i will do commissions. maybe just a few#idk when that will be. its a source of active contention rn#and im definitely not in a spot to push it#this is so frustrating#idk if its divine karma or what#but nothing is going my way#ugh. ily guys but please dont ask to send money to me— im scared that itll get noticed if i accept#i try to use cash for everything to stay off redacted’s radar#so…… yanno#idk when i’ll be able to have everything in my name#im beginning to think theyre going to keep this stuff from me til i can move out#but nobody will hire me#i cant count how many job applications ive sent#they keep dangling the string above me saying come in for another app do you want a second interview we’ll be in touch#then they ghost me or say nvm#atleast i can watch people’s fucking dogs. every few months#ig im not completely hopeless#but my food and gas wont pay for its fucking self#im hungry man#at least my aunt orders pizza for us
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my neighbors hearing me sing the same couple of lines of the same couple of songs every couple of hours because i am perpetually watching lockwood and co
#please also do#views are dropping#and i am desperate for a season two#i am literally doing everything that i can#when i tell you im perpetually watching it#this bitch is on loop#at work#in class#walking#eating dinner#its on silent#in the shower#doing homework#i have it playing#making edits and textposts#googling about it at least once a day#telling everyone i know to watch it#im trying so hard#lockwood and co#lockwood & co#l&co#lockwood and co season two#please
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the amount of time i spend thinking about Even carrying the metacrisis doctor’s fob watch is really quite disproportionate to how much ive fleshed out that part of the story in my head
#i still find myself not caring if the metacrisis doctor couldnt use one. he can because i said so and because donna shouldn’t get amnesiaed#alone.#but anyway. even. its just something about like.#here is your best friend. the man who showed you how big the universe could be. its still him human or not. its still the doctor.#can’t call him that. have to watch your tongue always because no matter how familiar their faces are. these two people do not remember#everything you did together and never can. at least they still love each other. nothing could change that. that’s what matters. you steer#them into each other’s lives so carefully and watch to see if they’re going to get hurt. but they don’t. it’s okay.#and still. and still. you carry your best friend’s life. everything that he is. you can hold it in the palm of your hand. he gave it to you.#he entrusted it to you. well. that’s not entirely true. technically you volunteered. but how else could you say thank you.#you made your world so so small again. for him. larger than you would’ve been used to once but you know what galaxies feel like to fly#across. and now you’re stuck in time and space. this is for love too. this is for the life you hold in your hands.#or wear around your neck on a chain. and because you chose this. you can never see him again. or you see him every day and he doesn’t#recognize all of you.#that would make anyone desperate wouldn’t it? make you do something stupid. make you turn to someone you shouldn’t.#even makes bad choices when they are cornered. i think.#dw oc#the important bit is of course that the only way they can ever get rid of it is by their own choice. which they never would choose to do.#(because tentoo won’t take it back. he’s his own person. impressions of the doctor influencing him. but the part of him that is donna doing#so as well. a whole new person. who does not want her memories back and to be unmade.)#but the point is that the moment even takes it. they will never let it go. they will lose it. on painful occasion. but it always finds its#way back. depending on the context this presence and responsibility is either comforting in its constancy.#or. in a less kind world. a horrifying reminder of how far they have fallen from who they tried to be for him.
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my brain has unlocked something: adding a で is just declining in the instrumental case. everything makes sense now
#flashback to that post a few hours ago about assigning words across languages#anywaya.s. if i can find what other japanese particles correspond to which cases in polish i'll have SUCH an easier time undertsnading jpns#as it stands everything i learned about it has been through music and watching content in jpnse#follow your dreams folks. just make sure to have broken your brain and glued it back together at least once#post anesthetics posts
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I haven't done anything tonight yet bc I rediscovered Guitar Hero (damn I feel old XD)
but good news is I've only got 16 things left to do! by tomorrow, I should have more things in the queue than are left to be done, which is always a good feeling
I still have a little ways to go but DAMN I should have the askbox open in about a week! I'm so freaking excited <3
#mod post#my hands hurt tho idk if it's still eczema or if it's dry skin or what but they're cracking and painful#esp across my palm and on the webbing between my thumbs and first fingers? it SUCKS bc like obv you use your hands for everything#I'm a lil angy about it but I'm managing#also on shark week AND haven't had any ibuprofen in almost a week when I used to take it at least once a day for headaches#so I'm in a little pain but I'm trying to power thru bc I'm worried that my headaches are rebound headaches from taking ibuprofen so much#ALSO BITCHES????? BITCHES FNAF MOVIE DROPS ON FRIDAYYYY#me and Mom are gonna watch it on Saturday after I get out of work... WITH PIZZA AND WINGS!!!!#that thought is getting me through the rest of the week dammit#really looking forward to it#ANYWAY SORRY I RAMBLED IN THE TAGS BUT I'MMA TRY TO GET SOME HECKING THINGS DONE!!#should be able to manage at least two tonight <3#but I'm tired so two mmmmay be the most I can muster up tonight#but that'll mean the queue and my drafts will be tied at 14 each and that will feel HUGE#love you guys pls take care of yourselves!!!! practice good self care drink water take your meds go have a snack and watch a show!! <3
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no bc i HAVE to scream, I sat through every single episode of Pretty Freakin Scary and what do you MEAN this old man sent his own grandson to die in his place. in MY Disney sitcom??? im on the FLOOR!!!!!
#THE WAY THAT RENDERED ME SPEECHLESS..... oh he's EVIL evil#JAW LITERALLY DROPPED I WAS SO SUS OF WHY HE GAVE ELRIC A GOODBYE HUG i thought he was gonna remove the talisman or smth & mind control him#pretty freakin scary#disney#disney channel#AND HE HAD THE AUDACIIIIITY! to tell Elric “everything works out how its supposed to” DUDE RLY TOLD HIS GRANDSON HIS FATE IS TO DIE FOR HIM#rip Elric at least he's probably gonna get a cool white streak in his hair when he comes back from the dead? bc he IS gonna come back right#cant believe they killed off the protagonist's future trophy husband like that but also it makes sense bc now they can both be once-dead?#they can BOTH have cool white streaks in their hair omg they're gonna be twinning!! :')#also Pretty being the entire reason Grim survived??? LOVE THAT FOR HIM go OFF king!!!!!!!!!!!!#he's the main reason i love this show lol#he is. So Goofy & Wholesome <3#if he didn't already have an adoptive family i'd be signing the adoption papers so quick#that's my son your honor#anyways watch Pretty Freakin Scary if you like family betrayal tropes and goofy silly lil guys with magical healing powers#pretty freakin scary spoilers#pretty freakin scary spoiler#pfs spoilers#pfs spoiler
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